No worries. I am not going to continue to rhyme my blog post titles. Otherwise, one of my few remaining choices is “listeria,” and we don’t want to go there.
I was tempted to make it “Wysteria” as an allusion to a soulful song of the same name by Dan Fogelberg, but the truth is that the word made me think of “wistful,” which is what I’m feeling now.
I’m also idly wondering if what wakes me during so many nights is a voice I ignore in my conscious journey. It’s a voice that asks if I’m being true to myself, which launches a full scale dialogue about what being “true to myself” might look like and how one knows whether or not they are being false to themselves.
In fact, what would lead anyone to think that they were acting, living, in some way that is opposed to whatever their true self is? We all know “to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man,” so the premise that human beings can, and do, live in ways that are false, isn’t new.
The possibility of doing so begs so many questions, including “why?”
I’m not thinking about deceit, which feels more conscious, and despicable, with the clear objective of getting something you want from another human being.
But then again, we do talk about “deceiving ourselves,” don’t we?
So what truth am I not facing? In what way am I living falsely? Or as Fogelberg asks: “Did you change your face again? / Those of us who loved you when / Can’t even find you….”